For generations, boys and men have been told to “man up”, “stop crying”, or “be tough.” These messages might seem harmless at first since teaching a child resilience from a young age is valuable. But when strength is narrowly defined as emotional suppression, toughness at all costs, or dominance over others, the result is something researchers call toxic masculinity. And it can have serious consequences for men’s mental health.

What is Toxic Masculinity?
Toxic masculinity refers to cultural norms that equate masculinity with control, emotional restriction, aggression, and rejection of anything perceived as “feminine” (Kupers, 2005). It’s not saying masculinity itself is toxic, but that extreme expectations of manhood can be.

How It Harms Mental Health and The Cost of “Man Up”
Men who feel pressure to meet these norms often:
● Suppress emotions like sadness, fear, or vulnerability, leading to unaddressed anxiety or depression (Mahalik et al., 2003).
● Avoid seeking help because needing support is seen as weakness (Seidler et al., 2016).
● Express big feelings through anger or risk-taking, which may hide underlying issues (Levant et al., 2009).

A 2016 meta-analysis found that stronger adherence to these masculine norms is linked with poorer mental health outcomes, including depression, substance misuse, and suicidal ideation (Seidler et al., 2016). When men feel they have to “man up,” they often suffer silently. We need to broaden the definition of strength to include vulnerability, compassion, and connection to ensure that untreated mental health concerns are no longer a major factor for men (World Health Organization, 2018).

Moving Forward
Supporting men’s mental health means challenging outdated ideas of masculinity. It means making therapy spaces where men can explore their full emotional range without judgment. And it means creating a culture where asking for help is seen as brave, not weak.

What Can Men Do to Break the Norm?
Here are a few ways to start:
✅ Talk about your mental health (even just a little)
You don’t need to share everything all at once. Try opening up to someone you trust about how you’re really feeling, or simply name your emotions to yourself. Saying “I’m overwhelmed” or “I’m feeling low today” is a powerful first step.
✅ Challenge assumptions about strength
Notice when you’re telling yourself to “man up” or “handle it alone.” Ask: Is this truly helping me or is it keeping me stuck?
✅ Be open for others
When you express vulnerability, you give permission for other men to do the same. This might mean telling a friend you’re having a tough time, or encouraging supportive conversations among male colleagues.
✅ Seek out supportive spaces
Consider joining a men’s group, peer support circle, or seeing a therapist who affirms a wide range of masculine identities. Safe spaces for emotional expression can be transformative.