When we think of summer, we often imagine sunny vacations, patio dinners with friends, and spontaneous road trips. For many, it’s the season of freedom, fun, and relaxation.
However, summer can also be mentally and emotionally exhausting. The pressure to make the most of it, be social, spontaneous, productive, and happy, can quietly wear us down.
☀️ The "Pressure to Enjoy" Phenomenon
Social psychologists found that the paradox of leisure is something we can all experience. It’s when the expectation that free time should always be pleasurable and can increase stress when it isn’t (Lundberg et al., 2011). The social standard set by the media tells us we should be travelling, getting fit, glowing with health, and surrounding ourselves with friends. When reality doesn't live up to this ideal, we may start to feel guilt, comparison, or frustration. This creates a subtle but chronic stressor that can contribute to:
● Emotional fatigue or “burnout”
● Irritability or short temper with loved ones
● Sleep disturbances
● Relationship tension
● Feelings of inadequacy or disconnection
The Role of Social Media
Instagram, TikTok, and other platforms amplify the “Hot-girl summer” standard. Scrolling through stories of vacations, influencers on the beach, and group outings can activate FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and social comparison, both of which are shown to negatively impact well-being (Huang, 2017). Research shows that frequent social media use is correlated with lower self-esteem and greater anxiety, especially when it involves comparing oneself to others (Vogel et al., 2014). Summer content, in particular, tends to emphasize lifestyles that may feel inaccessible, unaffordable, or exhausting to keep up with.
Burnout Isn’t Just for the Office or Classroom
Burnout is usually associated with work and school, but emotional burnout can happen in personal life too. When you say “yes” to every weekend plan, family event, or summer getaway without checking in with your own energy levels, it’s easy to become burned out. And burnout often leads to reactivity: snapping at a partner, feeling emotionally distant, or resenting friends you normally enjoy.
Body Image & Summer Anxiety
For many people, summer can also be a triggering time for body image. Warmer weather brings more skin exposure - along with the media perpetuated diet culture - which can bring about comparison. This can especially affect women and gender-diverse folks, as well as individuals in recovery from eating disorders or disordered eating habits. Research consistently shows that body dissatisfaction tends to increase during the summer, particularly when influenced by media portrayals of the "ideal body" (Grabe et al., 2008). These body image concerns can lead to avoidance of social events, intimacy issues, and increased anxiety or low mood.
Relationship Tension in the Summer
Lastly, let’s not ignore how this stress affects our relationships. In the summer:
● Couples might argue over conflicting vacation plans or how to spend weekends
● Friends may feel tension over mismatched social energy
● Parents may feel drained by the demands of childcare during school breaks
Interestingly, research shows a slight seasonal increase in relationship conflict and breakups during the summer months (Timmermans et al., 2018), potentially due to schedule disruptions and unrealistic expectations for a “perfect” summer together.
So, What Can You Do?
1. Redefine What “Making the Most of Summer” Means
Let go of the idea that you need to do it all. ASK YOURSELF: What would make this summer feel nourishing to me, not just exciting?
2. Be Honest About Your Social Battery
It’s okay to decline an invite or choose a night in rather than another gathering. Do whatever your favourite hobby is to do alone and recharge your social battery!
3. Limit Comparison
Consider unfollowing accounts that trigger comparison. Follow creators who celebrate diverse bodies, slower living, or mental wellness. Oh, and take breaks from social media when needed!
4. Make it your Goal to Prioritize YOU This Summer
Rest is productive. It strengthens your emotional regulation, immune system, and relationships. Summer isn’t just about stimulation, it can be about restoration.
☀️ Key Takeaway: Emotional wellness isn’t seasonal, it’s something we need to prioritize all year long. If the pressure to “perform summer” feels heavier than the experience itself, therapy can offer space to unpack, reprioritize, and care for yourself with intention.